Meme answers yay!

[cerebel]

THE LIST:
1. Alexander Mahone (Prison Break)
2. Noah Bennet (Heroes)
3. Elle Bishop (Heroes)
4. Robert Hawkins (Jericho)
5. Felix Gaeta (Battlestar Galactica)
6. Tom Underlay (Invasion)
7. Dexter Morgan (Dexter)
8. Michael Scofield (Prison Break)
9. Theodore Bagwell (Prison Break)
10. Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk)
11. Emil Blonsky (Incredible Hulk)
12. River Tam (Firefly)
13. Jake Green (Jericho)
14. Brian (Dexter)
15. Sylar (Heroes)

From transtempts:
Okay, if 1 (Alexander Mahone) and 15 (Sylar) were on a date, where would they go, and who would kiss who at the end of the night?

OH MY GOD. ... OH MY GOD. THIS COULD ONLY END IN TEARS.

Well, actually, maybe not. Sylar probably asked Alex out because he was fascinated with Alex's spastic competence, and wanted to pick up a few tricks. Meanwhile, someone probably attacks them (because y helo thar four-mile long list of enemies), Sylar saves Alex with one of his snappy powers, and then they share a kiss in the bloody aftermath.

From clearillusion:
1 (Alexander Mahone), 11 (Emil Blonsky) and 12 (River Tam) get sat together on a long-haul flight. Who starts conversation, who's the nervous flyer, and who abuses the free bar?

River tries to get both of them engaged with increasingly nutty conversational gambits, Blonsky gets freaked out and very drunk, and Alex understands a lot more than he lets on (though he's tranquilized off his ass).

When the plane is inevitably attacked by conspiracy-paid ninja terrorists, River, Blonsky and Mahone are the only three survivors from the mile-long path of wreckage.

From mongognom:
If 2 (Noah Bennet) and 5 (Felix Gaeta) got into a fight, who would 9 (T-Bag) help out?

T-Bag would sell tickets. Bennet would win. And then, for good measure, he'd kick T-Bag's ass and carry Felix off to forcibly recruit him towards bringing down the Company.

If 1 (Alexander Mahone) was killed, who would be the polices top suspect, 6 (Tom Underlay) or 12 (River Tam)?

Lessee now. River Tam, a brainwashed assassin, makes a pretty good suspect. On the other hand, Tom Underlay is THE SPITTING IMAGE of the victim. I think the cops would probably suspect some shit there.

If 3 (Elle Bishop),7 (Dexter Morgan) and 14 (Brian) were dying, and you could only save one of them, but had to permanently maim another and kill the last, how would your list look like?

I would kill Brian, but between Dexter and Elle .... man. Maim Dexter and save Elle, probably.

4 (Robert Hawkins) is in love, how would the love triangle 4 (Robert Hawkins), 11 (Emil Blonsky) and 15 (Sylar) play out?

Well. First-off, Emil Blonsky is in love with Sylar's powers, and wants to acquire them for himself. Sylar is fascinated with Hawkins and his badassery. Hawkins and Blonsky had a fling back in the day when they were both doing some covert mission or another.

So Blonsky goes after Hawkins to try and make Sylar jealous. Sylar catches them having sex and, instead of being angry, is rather aroused and tries to take control of both of them, instead of just one. This doesn't fly. It turns into a rather sexualized fight between the three of them, and ends up in a pretty dangerous BDSM-like threesome. Eventually, one of them either gets tranquilized and captured, or killed in a horrible bloody way. Possibly more than one.

8 (Michael Scofield) just got a new toy, would 8 (Michael Scofield) show it to 10 (Bruce Banner) or 13 (Jake Green) first? And what toy would 8 by?

He would undoubtedly have bought/made some sort of ridiculously useful gadget. Probably he wouldn't show it to Jake, because Jake is the kind of person he'd manipulate into doing his bidding through other means, only pulling out the gadget at a key moment; he'd show it to Bruce, though, because he could entice Bruce with science.

From demonqueen666:
4 (Robert Hawkins), 6 (Tom Underlay), 9 (Theodore Bagwell) and 11 (Emil Blonsky) go on a road-trip together. Where are they going? Why? Who's driving? What kind of car are they in? Where did they start from? How does the trip go? Do they make any stops along the way, scheduled or otherwise? If they pass 12 (River Tam) on the side of the road, will they pick them up? What about 3 (Elle Bishop)? Or 7 (Dexter Morgan)? Do they get where they're going successfully or does it all end in tears?

Tom is, by instinct and completely consciously unaware of this, attempting to find more people to bring to the water to turn into bodysnatched aliens. T-Bag, unlike Tom, is fully aware of this, and plans to let himself be taken to the water so he can become better/faster/stronger, and grow back his hand. Blonsky and Hawkins are old black ops friends of Tom's, and Tom is allowing them to believe that T-Bag is another veteran friend of his.

Hawkins, though, actually has been sent on a mission to capture (or destroy) Blonsky, who has recently gone rogue with his Abomination-style alterations. He plans on getting Blonsky away from the group and taking him out separately, but T-Bag insists on them going everywhere together.

Of course they would pick up Elle, because T-Bag is gentlemanly like that. Same with River and Dexter Morgan. But Dexter would immediately realize that he's in a car full of hunters, and he would leave right smart quick. River, on the other hand, would be totally fascinated by the dynamics playing out and would definitely want to see the result firsthand. Elle would use her electricity a little too freely, shock Blonsky, piss him off, and he'd turn into the Abomination, in the middle of a gas station.

After significant wreckage, some explosions, and a lot of military on the scene, Tom gets out, with T-Bag hot on his heels. River, rather curious about this whole 'water' thing, follows. Elle stays back to fight the Abomination, along with Robert Hawkins. They end up subduing the creature, probably by enticing it into salt water and electrocuting the fuck out of it.

Tom takes T-Bag to the water, and River catches him at it. Awkward moment, until River kinda shrugs and heads in too.

And that's as far as I'm going with this scenario.

From jhd91:
6 (Tom Underlay) and 8 (Michael Scofield) walk into a bar...

and after several drinks, manage to get into a barfight with some other patrons. Fisticuffs, spilling drinks, crashing onto tables and over the bar, someone going through a window, the works.

Which of the two is the more likely suspect for having started it, and what would they have said/done to start it? Which one would be more likely to have talked him/herself (or both of them) out of being arrested when the police come and survey the damage?

If they couldn't talk themselves out of being arrested, they use 3 as their one phone call. Would 3 bail one or both out, or make them both spend the night in jail?

Tom *definitely* starts it. He's drunk, he's pissed, he's confused as to whether he's human or a thing from space, he wants to hit people. Hilariously mistaking him for Alexander Mahone, Michael wades into the fight, helping him out.

Michael tries to fast-talk when the cops get there, but Tom just waves his sheriff's badge, assuming that they'll think he was off-duty and trying to stop the fight.

Seeing as how the people who arrest them are not under Tom's jurisdiction, both get arrested.

Elle would let them rot.

From vibishan:
3 (Elle Bishop), 6 (Tom Underlay), 9 (Theodore Bagwell), and 12 (River Tam) are playing poker. Who counts cards? Who has the best & worst poker faces? Who bluffs outrageously? Who calls really weird wild cards when it's their turn to deal, like one-eyed jacks and odd reds divisible three? Who threatens to shoot them for it?

River counts cards. And keeps winning. Even though T-Bag bluffs ridiculously and absolutely effectively. In retaliation, he starts naming ridiculous wild cards, which annoys Tom to no end, because he just wanted an uncomplicated fucking game of poker, goddamnit. Elle resents River, suspects her of cheating, and finally just attacks her. In the resulting fight, River wins again, T-Bag escapes with all her money, and Tom, who is FED UP WITH THIS SHIT, throw Elle into the ocean.

2 (Noah Bennet), 4 (Robert Hawkins), 7 (Dexter Morgan), and 11 (Emil Blonsky) have an orgy. Whose idea was it? Who's in charge?

Well, it was neither Dexter's idea nor was he in charge of anything. Blonsky came up with the whole thing, to see how far past Bennet and Hawkins' defenses he could get. He uses Dexter, whom he believes to be an innocent lab tech, in this process.

Sometime during the course of this, Hawkins tops Bennet.

1 (Alexander Mahone) and 8 (Michael Scofield) get set up on a blind date. By whom? Why? How does it go?

Probably Sara. She recognizes that Michael needs to be challenged by someone who can get inside his head and under his skin, and she recognizes that Alex needs to be detoxed by someone who's willing to kick his ass. The date does not go well; the sex, the following evening, goes much better.

Where would 14 (Brian) and 5 (Felix Gaeta) go on their honeymoon?

Brian would, no doubt, sweep Felix off his feet and take him someplace grand and romantic before making love to him sweetly, killing him, severing his limbs, and draining all his blood.

If 10 (Bruce Banner) and 13 (Jake Green) decided to take over the world together, how would they go about it?

With science and ingenuity. Jake would pull tons of risky maneuvers; Bruce would fashion some sort of serum that would make everyone in the world contentedly happy and absolutely obedient. Also radioactive. At the last minute, Jake would remember his family and realize that they're doing this wrong; Bruce, however, would be so hell-bent on controlling the world that nearly destroyed him that he'd be constantly under iron-tight control, too tight to let the Hulk out, and he would fight against Jake's betrayal with everything he has.

I now ship Jake/Bruce.

15 (Sylar) can have any of the others as a personal slave. Who does he/she/it pick, and why?

Definitely Noah Bennet, Revenge is sweet.

1 (Alexander Mahone), 2 (Noah Bennet), and 3 (Elle Bishop) play a drinking game. What terrible sekrits are revealed. Who ends up performing which humiliating and/or sexual acts? Who passes out?

Elle probably passes out. Before she does, though, Bennet and Mahone use her power to punish the other person for telling lies (because YES they can tell). Bennet confesses he slept with his partner; Alex confesses he's had anal sex with his wife (and a dildo), and the two eye each other thoughtfully. After Elle the lightweight is unconscious, sexxors ensue.

7 (Dexter Morgan) and 9 (Theodore Bagwell) are both attempting to spy on each other. Who figures it out first, and does violence, sex, or both ensue?

T-Bag spots Dexter spying on him, and that's why he starts spying on Dexter. Cause Dexter has found T-Bag, and knows perfectly well how many teenagers he's raped and killed, and plans to murder him in turn. T-Bag, on the other hand, suspects Dexter of a sexual interest in him, though he spots a fellow murderer when he sees one.

Dexter tries to catch T-Bag; T-Bag tries to seduce Dexter. It goes horribly wrong, and T-Bag barely escapes with his life.

14 (Brian) dreams about 4 (Robert Hawkins). What is the content of the dream?

It's probably a nightmare.

8 (Michael Scofield) is in love with 9 (Theodore Bagwell), and goes to 10 (Bruce Banner) for relationship advice. What is this advice, and how does it go over with 9?

The advice is FLAIL WHAT, and Michael is unappreciative. Michael decides, instead, that he can pretend to be using sex to manipulate T-Bag. T-Bag realizes something is up, and is totally flabbergasted when he realizes the truth. He then decides that he couldn't hope to do better, and he and Michael ride off into the sunset, being chased by police cars.

11 (Emil Blonsky) and 12 (River Tam) are in an emotionally abusive relationship. Who is manipulating who how? (Can be mutual)

Probably mutual, but River is winning.

13 (Jake Green) and 6 (Tom Underlay) meet in a bar and have a drunken conversation. What do they say (admit)?

Pre-Jake's return to Jericho, Post-Tom's plane crash, Jake admits he's a pilot but hasn't flown planes, and did nothing with his life. This causes flashbacks to the plane crash and getting nabbed by a creature in the water. Tom is patronizing to Jake because he was just a member of a company, not part of the actual military. Jake gets up in his face. They probably fistfight, then have angry sex in the bathroom.

2 (Noah Bennet) and 12 (River Tam) are in relationship when 2 (Noah Bennet) gets murdered by 1 (Alexander Mahone). What is 12 (River Tam)'s reaction?

KILL KILL KILL. Mahone gets pwned. And then when she realizes the Company was behind it, the Company gets pwned.